This Is This

I get a few searches on this site, and yesterday, despite not writing anything, I got about forty searches, all from Australia asking how many ADHD sufferers it takes to change a lightbulb. If there is anyone reading this in Australia, can you please tell me why this entered the national consciousness on Monday?

There were loads of them. Unless it is the same person who actually has ADHD and seriously wants to know how to change a lightbulb but is compelled to typing it into google over and over again. I can see that.

Normally the most common search I get (apart from the porn ones) is for songs about rivers. I like that, and also I’m surprised no one has written about it more.

With the porn searches, right, I’d have to ask: why do they stay? Sure, be referred here by looking for whatever but then why then spend 17 minutes and view seven separate pages? Do they not believe that there is no porn here or do they change their minds and stick around for a laugh and listen to a couple of songs?

I don’t get it.

So I was saying on Friday I got a HD receiver at the weekend. I’ve had an High Definition television for about five years and I’ve never done anything with it, but now I’ve got the stuff to go with it, and I can confirm that it is the shit.

And there are hundreds of channels. I can watch The Dog Whisperer all day long. It’s on Animal Planet, then later it’s on The Dog Channel, and right after that it’s on The Whispering Channel. Tomorrow on TWC it’s Bob Harris Night. I’ve watched stuff about US civil war.

The stuff in HD looks amazing. Now I want the all the CCTV and police cars to have high definition cameras in them so I can watch really clear pictures on those real-life crime shows.

I watched this one thing about the Forbidden City and it was awesome. Watching reality TV in high-def is like looking out the window without all that hassle and expense that comes with looking out an actual window. I’ve been watching shows that aren’t even that interesting but they are in HD. It’s like listening to crap music because it sounds good.

Speaking of listening, the podcast thing is once again put back a week. Mr Angry got in touch yesterday to say that the night we were supposed to tape (haha, I said tape) the entertainment (Haha! I said entertainment) is the night of the England football (HAHA!!!) match, which I didn’t realise when I suggested the time. I did an Arty Fufkin-esque “I got no timing, I fucked up the timing”.

Actually, that’s a funny thing, because only fans on Spinal Tap will get that, but I throw it out there just like that. The other week I was in Broadcasting House for a conference and we were trying to find the Radio Theatre, which is a beautiful 1930’s room where they record I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue and lots more your ears could care to mention.

BH is an old building on a corner of a street and it has round corridors and alleys which seem inspired by the runs that rabbits weave in the brush. Some colleague and I were looking for the studio and we reached a dead end. A cleaner appeared and we asked the right way and she sent us back with a series of complicated instruction involving fire doors and stairways. We turned around and headed for the venue, I said “Hello Cleveland!” and the air went so dead you could smell it.

If this isn’t funny to you now, then I am recounting something that wasn’t funny then, but I thought I’d give it another go.

So we’re going to move the podcast back a week (again), recording in the middle of next week. We’ll leave it to cool on the window ledge a couple of days and you should have it by next weekend. See now with all this talk of movies, I’m thinking of American Pie and that’s just wrong.

Hopefully this slapdash and ramshackle approach to planning is what makes me and Mr Angry funny people in the first place. It’s what the French call a lezzy fair, and hopefully we can redeem ourselves in exchange for LOLs sometime next week.

Also on This Is This
Don’t they know millions of people are watching? What in the name of General Robert E. Lee are these people playing at?
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This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 14th, 2008 at 9:21 am. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed, or you can skip to the end and leave a comment yourself.