You Want To Know What I Think?

You want to know what I think? It doesn’t really matter because this post is all about what I think.

You know how they have random joes on those topical panel discussion programmes? I could do that. They go up against the politicians and policy makers and discuss the issues of the day.

Last night eighteen year old student Suzanne Burlton made her mark on the BBC and showed that the great and the good are often neither. You get comedians and singers on there too, providing a voice for the people to the folks whose job it is to represent us in the first place.

I can’t help thinking it’s being dumbed down a little, even though the joes they get on are bright people to begin with, like Billy Bragg and Jo Brand. I’d like to see Flight Of The Conchords on there.

“It’s Question – it’s Question Time – Youknowwhattimeisitstimeforquestions – thatswhyitscalledQuestionTimeOOOOH!
- it’s Question….”

I took part in some market research this week. I like doing this because I see myself as a voice of reason. And a mouthy arsehole. But you know those stupid ads and marketing leaflets that are stupid? I see myself as a last line of defence.

Now, a lot of people just aren’t mouthy arseholes, so they get in these sessions and go all quiet. I can be as quiet as the next guy, but like I said, I’m the last line of defence. I’m providing a service. I’m a crazy voice of reason in a world of apathy. If only wishing made it so.

So in these panel sessions, they film you and fill you full of coffee and you get interviewed about what you think about various ads. Trouble is, while everyone goes quiet, I sit there fighting the temptation to become Paul Morley.

I actually spoke less than everyone, but these are some quotes from me on Wednesday night:

“I don’t like the slogan – ‘an institution we are building around you.’ I want financial security with a sensible, established outlook. If someone’s building a company build around me? Personally? Then they’re in trouble.”

or

“I don’t trust a company that’s spent vast amounts on advertising. These guys have used Ringo Starr, Robert DeNiro and who knows who else? That money should be working for me. These companies are in financial turmoil, and these people aren’t cheap, but they pay millions for these big stars and then they all go off for lunch at The Ivy and whack it on expenses. No thanks.”

then

“Why are there full stops after every headline. Every single one – look at them. ‘Free financial review.’ That’s not a sentence.”

I should add the first one got a big laugh. The second got some agreement, particularly from one guy who looked like he was waiting for me to rally him so he could throw his chair at the two way mirror, CSI style. The third one drew baffled looks from everyone. No one cares about grammar.

Bad grammar in leaflets bugs me. I accept that some people can’t spell or use grammar, but it’s even worse when they have designed the crap out of a leaflet and it has sentences like:

What if you had to take a career break for a year, or was injured and unable to work.

What if you was injured.

Really?

What if you was doin’ nuffin and you was like whatever.

We was looking after your money, right? And then like it vanished?

Idiots.

Have a great weekend.