This ain't something else
Honesty, this site writes itself. Sometimes, I’m just tapping the keyboard for looks.
This morning. Maidenhead station, 10am
Woman (in suit with clipboard and walky-talky): What do you think, then?
Man (pensive, in suit with First Great Western badge): Well, I don’t think we can have the celebration. A man has committed suicide. It wouldn’t play out well.
This is going to seem odd to the people who are reading here, but there’s something wrong with the feed on this site. I’ve been doing some work on my site lately, which included making a backup copy of all the old posts and comments, which I’ve never done before.
Then I tried to back up my site and I took it down because of some password e-nanigans and I had to call the big hosting company and get it fixed. See, there are cool people, then there are geeks and there are people who want to be geeks but can’t, and then there’s me who wants to be a geek but can’t and then tries to be cool on top of that.
So this message is largely redundant because if you’re reading this, there isn’t a problem. As far as I can tell it works on the Feedreader but the bloglines one doesn’t. The test post earlier today, for those who saw it, was actually a double post: first to see if I could write from my mobile phone and also if it came up on my RSS feed reading thing.
You know, it’s funny. Because the people who can’t see it won’t see this post, and the people who can may not understand what I’m talking about.
But anyway, if you are reading this off my site, either with bloglines or google reader or netvibes or feedburner or those other ones, it would really help me if you could drop me a line at cliffATthisisthisDOTorg and let me know, or leave a comment in this post.
US illusionist David Blaine is to take on his biggest challenge yet in a feat of endurance that has silenced even his harshest critics.
“I will go to new parts of my mind, ” he said, “I will wake up at six thirty every morning and travel to an office. The building will be sealed and air will be recirculated using machines. I will be allowed to eat, but often it will be over-priced sandwiches at my desk. After work, I will go home and repeat the exercise the next day.
The celebrity entertainer stroke magician says it will be a trial which will test not just his body and mind, but his soul.
He continued: “And I will do this for forty-five years.”
Under the strict conditions imposed on the trial, Blaine is allowed to have weekends and holidays off. He will begin performing the stunt in his native New York City, but career advisors say he may be in for surprises.
“There will be reshuffles, possible transfers, job-shares, hot-desking,” said one, who preferred not to be named, “- the truth is, when you set out to do a desk job, things don’t always go to plan.”
What is certain is that Blaine, currently ranked 98 on the Forbes Top Celebrity list, will find it very dull as his salary drops from $2m to $48,000.
“That’s probably going to be the hardest thing,” said actor and close friend Leonardo DiCaprio, “he may be able to go to sporting events, but he can kiss those courtside seats goodbye.”
After the forty five years are finished, he will stop working the job and survive on even less, facing health problems while he tries to rebuild his relationship with his family who will undoubtedly have their own lives.
The feat, entitled “David Blaine: Nine To Five” will end in 2053.
This article also appears in today’s Newsbiscuit
Comedian: A funny thing happened on the way here.
Heckler: Perhaps you’d like to tell us and share the experience as part of your comedy routine.
Seriously, I am very busy. Tonight I promise myself is going to be the first night in over a week where I haven’t worked until gone eleven, and that’s only happened by working my arse off last night until midnight and all the way in on the train and tube.
Proper posts may follow as well as details emerging this week of a podcast - yes a proper podcast on Itunes and everything. More tomorrow.
BBC Timewatch has used radiocarbon dating to reveal that
The monoliths, which were famously parodied in the 1984 parody film, if you will: “rockumentary”, This Is Spinal Tap, are 300 years older than previously thought.
He’s not the greatest singer, the guitar sounds a little weak, the drums are thin, it’s a little dated, but the bass contrasting against the melody is brilliant, so here’s one to make us party like it’s 1991, backed up with passion and teenage lyrics for us to remember how we all started out before we ended up.
I love the chord progression in the chorus. Guitarists out there - it’s an E-shape moved up the fretboard first to the third fret, then to the fourth then back to the third then back to E on the first, which is why you’ve got that open B and E though the chorus for the chimes.
Everyone else can sing along:
My head just wants to tell you that I’m lost in you.
Just to hear you say my name – heaven sent and angel.
Listen: Heaven Sent An Angel
This week a man on the train next to me put a newspaper down in between where we were sitting. I grabbed it to read and he huffed.
To put this into context, it was a free newspaper which are available everywhere. If you don’t know London, we have two free papers which are handed to commuters on their way home. Outside the main offices of the BBC, there are four to five vendors handing over papers to people to read on the tube.
The trains are also littered with the papers, because people read them and people leave them on seats for others to read. This is considered good paperquette, so it’s not unreasonable for someone to put a paper down and for you to pick it up, depending on the manner in which they left it.
But this guy discarded the paper. It was disposed of, and he took exception to the way I picked it up. I’m not ranting about it, but I wondered if any other London readers have had a similar experience, or the opposite thing where you have had your newspaper taken. Probably just me, I don’t know.
What I should have done is walked two feet away and got him another paper to replace the one I took. Maybe the paper had some kind of sentimental value. Perhaps it was a gift. Or maybe he’s just dumber than a box of hair and doesn’t realise that these papers are available everywhere. Maybe when he was given it he thought he’d won the lottery and didn’t realise these things are free to everyone. Maybe he was going to take it home for conversation material so he wouldn’t have to have another discussion with his wife about tyre pressure.
I don’t know the facts. But these newspapers are free.
And so is this website by the way, but that’s only because I don’t think anyone would pay for it and I haven’t figured out a way to do that yet. I would like to make money doing this, of course, but it would take a lot of time and I can’t sacrifice the things I already spend time doing.
Eh, whatever. I’m not complaining. Have a great weekend.
Again with this
Asta Says: 13- bound to be lucky
DISCLAIMER – I am not going to write about anyone I know here, because thing would get awkward really fast. So if you know me, and you’re hot, then good for you, but let’s keep it between us.
Who do you think is the most beautiful person in your country?
I think Kate Winslet is awesome, but I’m not sure she’s in the country. And if Julianne Moore were any hotter, they’d have to shut her down. I’m not sure if either of them are in the country, though. I think we export all our hot people. That’s why fuel charges have gone up so much.
Who was the most beautiful person in history?
I think a young Grace Kelly was gorgeous, and Doris Day for that smile. Girl next door? What street in what town on what planet? Catherine Deneuve, too. History has yet to judge Julianne Moore, but I think it will be kind to her. Also the waitress in the diner at the beginning of Pulp Fiction. Jee-sus.
Does beauty affect one’s success in life?
Without a doubt. But extreme beauty means you don’t yet have to cope with things that will one day get you when you ain’t so all that.
Is it better to be physically attractive or intelligent?
Intelligent.
Is it better to be physically attractive or wealthy?
Wealthy.
Is beauty related to power?
Yes. Not only related, but they are befellows. And that’s never nice.
Can you think of anyone who is in a position of power that is not physically attractive?
Plenty, but you should have seen the other guy.
Do people spend too much time and money on beauty?
Beauty is a personal choice.
How much time should be spent on making yourself look better each day?
Depends on the person, but don’t spend too long, because life’s more important than you. A lot of it is how you affect others. Don’t take yourself so personally.
Do you think people should have cosmetic surgery to enhance their looks?
Yes, if it will give them the confidence they need to feel good. If that’s essential necessary to their psychological well being, then absolutely.
If so what is the minimum age when someone should have plastic surgery?
No limit. A parent should be able to decide if they want to improve their child’s appearance if there is some physical impairment that will cause them emotional suffering.
How popular is plastic surgery in your country?
It’s getting bigger all the time.
What is the most popular feature for cosmetic alteration?
I think breasts. Quite a lot of the time, anyway. Sorry, what was the question?
Do you think self-esteem affects beauty?
I think confidence can make people attractive.
Do you think beauty affects self-esteem?
Definitely. Take me for example: I feel fucking great.
How important is beauty in your daily life?
Vital, but I’m not talking about looks.
Have you ever noticed anyone ever feeling pressured to be more beautiful?
Yes, I wish I could do something about that.
What do you think of the proverb, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder?”
It’s true.
What do you think “beauty is skin deep” means?
I think it means it’s what’s inside that counts. Which it does, but it’s part of a whole thing.
What are some beauty tips that you could share?
Don’t try and look like someone else. Yes, you’re unique, but so is everyone else.
Do you think people with many tattoos can be beautiful?
Sure.
How many tattoos is too many?
Depends on the person and design.
Would you ever get a tattoo?
I would consider it.
Do you have a tattoo?
No.
Do you think people with many piercings can be beautiful?
Yes.
What kind of body piercing, if any, do you feel are acceptable?
Ears are nice, but not on kids.
What kind of piercing, if any, do you feel are unacceptable?
Anything that looks too painful.
What personality trait is the most important for inner beauty?
Compassion. Or patience. Oooh, eloquence. Also decisiveness.
How do you define beauty, using your own words?
The quality which reflects back the spark of life.
Would you ever date someone who was not conventionally attractive?
Yes.
What makes one person more attractive than another?
Personal choice.
Do you think people from different countries than you see attractive the same way?
No, I think it’s all different all over.
Is there someone famous that is considered beautiful, that you think is not?
Keira Knightly. I don’t see it. At all.
Are beauty pageants good or bad?
Very bad.
Should children be entered into beauty pageants?
No. How do you tell the other 49 kids that they just weren’t attractive enough.
Do you think one gender or group worries more about beauty than another?
I think women worry more, but men are getting up there.
Would you want your children to be beautiful or talented?
They already are. (Everyone: Awwwwwwwww.)
What are some of the negatives about being beautiful?
Only that others may resent it, or it may belie your other abilities. There are plenty of people in journalism who are very talented but their skills are not taken on merit because they are so fucking hot. Thankfully this is something I will never have to contend with. (Readers voice: hang on, didn’t you just say you were attractive in the self-esteem question? What’s the deal?) Yes, I did, but now I’ve changed, because I saw the funny. Like this: I try to do the self-depricating jokes, but I’m not very good at it.
What are some examples of social pressures to improve on natural beauty?
For example: lipstick, haircutting, shaving, … Age and health have a lot to do with it.
What do you think about plastic surgery?
I think using canteen cutley for any medical procedure is deeply wrong. Seriously, I think it’s OK. It’s not up to me to say what people should do with themselves.
Would you ever have plastic surgery?
I doubt it.
What?
The Midweek Song. It could work.
Of all the songs with today’s date in the first line, this is probably the saddest and, often by my own misguided reckoning, the most beautiful.
This from Canadian influential songsmiths Tragically Hip.
Dateline? Yep. Lyrics like a homespun Under Milk Wood? Yep. Favourite Shakespeare character namechecked? Yep. Gutwrenching, soulful, bittersweet honesty? Yep. Beautiful acoustic guitars? Yep?
OK.
September 17
For a girl I know it’s Mothers’ Day.
Her son has gone alee
and that’s where he will stay.
Listen: Fiddler’s Green
A blog of occasional daily life with patchy outbreaks of funny, scattered values and the chance of philosophy from the east.
In summary, Cliff Jones.
